Fun contests from past issues of the Contest Center News
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       From time to time the Contest Center holds a Fun Contest. These contests are always creative, requiring imagination and humor. Some excerpts from past Fun Contests appear here.
       We invite you to submit your own contributions to any of these contests. The deadline for a prize may be past, but your contribution and your name will be added to this webpage.

Full Alphabet
       Write a sentence of 26 words where the words begin with the 26 letters of the alphabet in order.

A battle can develop eating for good health, in just knowing light meals need overseeing, possibly quelling restraint, since temptation usually varies when Xmas yields zest.
-- Marilyn R. Venable

As Bill Clinton dutifully entertained foreign gentlemen, Hillary's insurance jumble kept losing momentum; neatly overturning promised quick reform, senators took up vociferous waffling x-ing yearlong zeal.
-- Louise Charles

A boss can drive employees frantic, generating huge impossible jobs, keeping lists, making notes of people's quirks, reducing staff tactlessly, using various worker xenagogues, yelling "Zounds."
-- Doris M. Armstrong

A beautiful carrot does entice folks galore, however, I just keep liking my nutrients odder, pretty queer really, specifically those ugly very weird XL yummy zucchini.
-- Darlene Duval

A big crew drove elephants from good habitat in jungle kingdom leaving many noisy ones pushing, quite roughly, several truly upset veterinarians who xrayed young zebras.
-- Betty R. Brennan

Same First Letter
       Construct a sentence of up to 12 words where every word starts with the same letter.

Clever Contest Center contestants conquer clever Contest Center contests.
-- Grace Byrne

Contest Center creates clever challenging contests causing contestants congenial competition.
-- Betty Battaglia

Barabara Burns buttered bread better because Betty Benson broke bread badly buttering.
-- Phyllis Barr

Frugal freeloader Freddie found financial fame finagling funds from former friends.
-- Rae Anne Hoffman

Strutting strapping striking stranger stripped straying struggling strapless streetwalking strumpet strewing street.
-- Bernadene Gortler

Awful Albert Alligator acted abominably and ate angelic Alice as an appetizer.
-- Ruth Lobrovich

Timid Timmy tried two tequilas, then three... tiger Timmy then terrorized the townspeople.
-- Walter Soeder

As Ark animals assembled, an anxious aardvark asked, "Are ants abundant?"
-- Phil Sphicas

Tiny Tim tiptoed through the tulips, then toddled towards the trees.
-- Mildred C. Olson

Quarrelsomeness quelled, quickly quarantined quaking Quasimodo quit quibbling, quietly quilted, quaffed quinced quiche, questing quiescence.
-- Fred K. Irwin

The trucks tread through tree trimmings, traveling through the trails to the tundra.

-- Casey Klaviter

Add A Letter
       Construct a sentence, then add a single letter to change its meaning.

No humans can live on the moon.
Now humans can live on the moon.

Public assistance funds were disbursed to an undeserved community.
Public assistance funds were disbursed to an underserved community.

The Fun Contest is the best of them all.
The Fun Contest is the beast of them all.
-- Mrs. O. P. LeBoeuf

The optician's office is a site for sore eyes.
The optician's office is a site for store eyes.
-- Doris Armstrong

The pianist was experiencing problems with her spine.
The pianist was experiencing problems with her spinet.
-- Doris Armstrong

The debtor's argument was structurally sound but unconvincing.
The debator's argument was structurally sound but unconvincing.
-- Steve Lent

Dealers usually don't have difficulty with addition problems.
Dealers usually don't have difficulty with addiction problems.
-- Steve Lent

The donated items were reused.
The donated items were refused.
-- Darl Sandstedt

The astronauts were interviewed to discover what lives on a spaceship were like.
The astronauts were interviewed to discover what olives on a spaceship were like.
-- Darl Sandstedt

Don't forge his signature on that contract.
Don't forget his signature on that contract.
-- Bernadene Gortler

You always run everything.
You always ruin everything.
-- Bernadene Gortler

The woman, who was eighty, had trouble getting into a taxi.
The woman, who was weighty, had trouble getting into a taxi.
-- Louise Charles

The suspect is still eluding the arresting officer.
The suspect is still deluding the arresting officer.
-- Michie Kuwaye

3-Letter Words
       Construct a sentence consisting entirely of 3-letter words.

You may vie for the new job bid, but you may not win.

Her new pie pan was now old and not fit for use.

The man who had the top job was Tom Mix, but now it's Amy Tan who has the big job.

You who yap off for the new tax use law, zip the lip. -- Bernadene Gortler

Maj. try new Uzi for spy job. -- Judy Keith

It's new, it's you, it's Fly Dye! -- Judy Keith

Use pro for the new tax law. -- Henry Durchfort

Awe for the new tax law won the CPA his new job. -- Louise Charles

You try for the new CPA job, but fib the tax law. -- David Schachter

Use the jug for ice. -- Shirley Utz

Celebrity Marriages
       When two people marry, the woman's new name can be funny, ironic, or perhaps unfortunate. For example, my son once dated a girl named Robin. If they had married, she would be Robin Rubin.
       Choose two (or more) famous people whose marriage would result in an interesting name.

       For example, if Shelly Long married Elton John, she would be Shelly Long John. If she divorced him to marry Ron Silver, she would then become Shelly Long John Silver.

Edie Gorme, Peter Cook:   Edie Gorme Cook -- Al DeStefanis

Kitty Carlisle, Conway Twitty:   Kitty Twitty -- Nellie Trosclair

Lucille Ball, Bert Parks, Neil Diamond:   Lucille Ball Parks Diamond -- Roger Snead

Glenn Close, Regis Toomey:   Glenn Close Toomey -- Eugene Jarosch

Karen Carpenter, Jackie Mason, Christopher Plummer:   Karen Carpenter Mason Plummer -- A. E. Bartusch

Leontyne Price, Franz Liszt:   Leontyne Price Liszt -- David Schachter

Marsha Mason, Ivan Dixon:   Marsha Mason Dixon -- David Schachter

Glenn Close, The Doors:   Glenn Close The Doors -- David Schachter

What's My Line?
       Find or make up a name, and give a suitable profession. [Real names and actual matching professions are marked with a *. The others are invented.]

*Ima Bumgardner yardman. Wanda Shelton

Nick O'teen tobacco grower. Judy Barnes

Brer Abbott head of monastery. Judy Barnes

*Mr. E. Coldflesh *mortician. Mary Woodman

*Dr. O. Yankum *dentist. Mary Woodman

Robin Banks stick-up artist. Dorothy Algmin

Marcus Down discount retailer. Dorothy Algmin

Tab Lloyd journalist. Beatrice Cecil

       Write a sentence in which the same sequence of letters is used two or more times, but divided differently to form different words.

Manslaughter will surely end a man's laughter.

We want to get her   together with her friends. Bernadene Gortler

Sign in a beauty salon: If your hair is not becoming you should be coming to us. Pauline Catlin

I gave my cat a tonic, but she became catatonic. Dorothy Algmin

If your friend's hip it will improve your friendship. Waldina Mahler

When we met, had one   hero in my life admitted he was on methadone as a heroin addict, I would have admired his honesty. Roger Snead

I put the disc on so late the music was unable to cheer my disconsolate mood. Roger Snead

Product Pitch
       Change one letter in the name of a common product, and then write a slogan of up to 10 words.

Liston Tea - The tea that packs a punch.

Mudweiser - Here's bud in your eye. J. Philip Copsey

Four Noses - A nose is a nose is a nose, etc. J. Philip Copsey

Coven Girl - Bewitching makeup. Doris Christensen

Mixwell House - Coffee you never need to stir. Betty Battaglia

Irish Sprint - For people on the go. Betty Battaglia

Sin Maid Raisins - We give new meaning to the Grapes of Wrath. Dorothy Coombs

Vidal Bassoon - For that woodwindblown look. Dorothy Coombs

A-2 Sauce - Our spices try harder. Dorothy Algmin

Betty Crocked - Try our rum cake - often. Fred Irwin

Corn Flukes - If there's any nutrition here, it's an accident. Fred Irwin

Newsweak - Rumors, gossip, and unreliable sources. Mary Templeton

Hidden Words
       Write a sentence or brief paragraph containing a hidden message, or hidden words with a theme.

I dare not scan twilight skies. Eery phantoms beckon me, thin ghoulish apparitions. To Mecca? Nirvana? Nay, outposts of Hades.
Hidden message: I can't see a thing, can you?
Sally Kirtland

My chimp is happy on display, full-garbed in finery.
He'll toot a pipe, tap a drum, he'll even strum on key.
Hidden message: Impish playful pet monkey.
Sally Kirtland

Liver and asparagus? To keep women joyful stop and ask Uncle Vernon. To wit, he agrees!
Hidden message: Clever pandas enjoy verandas with gusto.
Marcia Kasper

Pardon this advice, the best Arkansas hay is vital! One snake died without it. So hone your scythes for haying.
Hidden message: Don't sashay stark naked alone, honey.
Marcia Kasper

The self-centered contestant from Coventry was puzzled and embarrassed. She knew she misspelled lacrosse, shadow, nuptial and swordfish.
Hidden message: Contest Center News puzzle entry, across, down, word.
Bev Vestal

So, be erratic, you can't win every time.
Though few ate raisins, also dates, all ate a lemony lime.
Hidden message: beer, wine, water, soda, tea, ale.
DeWitt Pierson

When I leave a valuable package with a messenger I always insure it. Care does pay off, especially a lucky charm.
Hidden message: Nile, Thames, Red, Yalu.
Howard Lindquist

Am sending a messenger with a footlocker containing "The Scarab Ring Mystery" mementos. The trap is to leave immediately.
Hidden message: Game's afoot. Bring pistol.
Arthur Conan Doyle

Car Trouble
       You just bought a brand new car. Halfway home the car stalls and you cannot restart it. Choose, or make up, a word or phrase to describe this situation.

» In-stall-ment.

» Car-rage-us.

» Shop and Stop.

» G.T.O. - Get your Tools Out.
       Lisa Via

» The stall of the riled.
       Betty Battaglia

» Car-diac arrest.
       Jeffrey Miller

» Ponti-yuck.
       Charles Rawnsley

» I should have bought a V-8.
       Edna Fetzer

» Indignition.
       Dorothy Algmin

» LTD - Long Time Dead.
       William Dewey

» Shove-Bug.
       J. Philip Copsey

» Car-bage.
       James Skelton

» TOW be or not TOW be.
       Betty Battaglia

» Not-so-hot rod.
       Jeffrey Miller

» Hyun-die.
       Charles Rawnsley

» Hitchback.
       Dorothy Algmin

» FORD - Fix Or Repair Daily.
       Charles Prosser

One Letter
       Write a sentence, then change only one letter to make another sentence with a substantially different meaning.

» The wild party in the frat house was a private affair.
» The wild party in the frat house was a primate affair.

» The sheriff has proof that you are not a murderer.
» The sheriff has proof that you are now a murderer.

» Julius Caesar was the greatest Roman of them all.
» Julius Caesar was the greatest Woman of them all.

» Use Spiffy Skin Lotion and you will always be lovely.
» Use Spiffy Skin Lotion and you will always be lonely.

» The late king's unpopular eldest son will be crowned today.
» The late king's unpopular eldest son will be drowned today.

» Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
» Nobody knows the trouble I've been.

» New Year's Day is the morning after the night before.
» New Year's Day is the moaning after the night before.
       Lyn Venable

» The stockbroker relayed the news to the client.
» The stockbroker delayed the news to the client.
       Betty Battaglia

» Try hard and you can get what you want.
» Cry hard and you can get what you want.
       Dorothy Algmin

» The candidate was a political force.
» The candidate was a political farce.
       Dorothy Algmin

» After my friends retired they started puzzling.
» After my friends retired they started guzzling.
       Wanda Shelton

» The farmer milked the goats twice a day.
» The farmer milked the gnats twice a day.
       Joseph A. Fleischmann

» The rowers depended on oarlocks to keep the boat moving.
» The rowers depended on warlocks to keep the boat moving.

A Good Job
       Complete the thought: Did they do a good job fixing your .... ?

Did they do a good job fixing your car?
Yes, now I can ride to the poorhouse in style. -- Tish McElhannon

Did they do a good job fixing your car?
Yes, now I don't need to buy firecrackers. -- Waldina Mahler

Did they do a good job fixing your car?
Yes, now if the traffic's heavy I can just scoot under it. -- Grace F. Smith

Did they do a good job fixing your lawnmower?
Yes, now I'm a cinch to win the Indy 500. -- Waldina Mahler

Did they do a good job fixing your pet frog?
Yes, now when I take its shirt off it says "Don't ripit, don't ripit." -- Bob Lawson

Did they do a good job fixing your computer?
Yes, they found the "worm" in my Apple. -- Charles Rawnsley

Did they do a good job fixing your windows?
Yes, now I get cross-ventilation even when they're closed. -- Beverly Palter

Did they do a good job fixing your TV?
Yes, I always loved silent movies. -- Eleanor Lowe

Did they do a good job fixing your fishing reel?
Yes, but there was a catch to it. -- Elizabeth Masterson

New Product
       Invent an imaginary new product, and write an advertising blurb for it.

The S Cape:   Add magic to your wardrobe. Slip this on and be transported to glamour land. -- Dorothy Algmin

KaraTea:   The drink with a belt. -- Dorothy Algmin

Offense by Sophializ:   A new resistible fragrance for the irresistible woman who demands her privacy. -- Sally Kirtland

Spleen:   The new magazine for discontents. It features all you should know about malpractice suits. Attorney listings in Appendix. -- Sally Kirtland

Y'All:   Try this heavy-duty detergent guaranteed to get all the mud out of football uniforms in Outer Magnolia. -- Marilyn Venable

Madnight:   Wear this new perfume and your boyfriend will go crazy over you. -- Marilyn Venable

Hootch Embalming Fluid:   Drink plenty of this regularly and you'll stay well preserved. -- Patricia Bradley

Cheeriodical:   Read this new magazine containing no depressing articles or news. -- Marilyn Venable

» And the winner, a full decade before minoxidil and Rogaine

Bald Tonic:   Use this tonic on your head. Roots of hair begin to spread. Bald before, hair today. Baldness gone, hair to stay. -- Mrs. W. J. Everhart

What's My Line?
       Describe a new occupation for the new millennium (5 word limit).

» Time machine operator.

» Environmental repairperson.

» Interspecies interpreter.

Future Product
       Devise a new product for the future. (5 word limit).

Fake moon dust Make your friends think you've had an expensive vacation on the moon. Just sprinkle a little on your shoes and pants cuffs.

Fake Earth dust Make your friends think you've had an expensive visit to Earth. Just sprinkle a little on your shoes and pants cuffs.

First Half
       Write a sentence using only the letters in the first half of the alphabet (that is, A through M).

» Ah, dad baked a cabbage cake, did he?

» Legal eagle alleged chemical leakage flammable.

       Find a humorous headline in a newspaper. It may be intentional humor or an unexpected second meaning.

» Homes going begging -- Nellie Trosclair

» American S&L Takeover by Bass Expected -- James R. Skelton

» New banks store clients' own blood -- James R. Skelton

» Chips will fall where they may in bovine bingo -- Phyllis Nicholson

» Keyes may open doors in Green Bay -- A. E. Bartusch

» Sizzling city burns up heat records -- A. E. Bartusch

» Scientists grow frog eyes

» Police search for hacker responsible for ILOVEYOU virus

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